Hey guys happy weekend ! 

I think i able to balance between being productive and recharging my energy for this weekend . I start a day by 30 mins brisk walk , which im proud i did it :) . I have plan about it since yesterday . I hope i can do it again for tomorrow la .

Actually kan , i thought i will overslept since i sleep at 3 am yesterday after playing games . Thank to my twin for wake me up . Its kinda late because when we went to the park the sun its already above our head even its only 8.40 am . 

After that we go for our brunch at the nearest tesco . I choose bbq nasi ayam since its my fav . The cheapest and yummy ofc . 

Have you guys ever concern about your weight ?Like mine its keep adding numbers lol . No matter how i change my diet or portion of food . Maybe because i always sleep late ? 

So right now instead of focus on diet only . I try to add some routine of exercise , drink more water and puasa sunat on monday and thursday . Semoga istiqamah . 

Any idea of losing weight? Mind sharing ? Who knows its work kan ? 

I think i will stop writing here . Thank you for reading my bored entry . Stay alive and be thankful for everything :) Seeya . 

Hi good evening  and assalamualaikum . How you guys doing ? Anything new happen lately ? 

Well for me ,  i'm doing well . I think so , you guys  know what ? 

Finally , i get a closure about something :) .  I kinda sad but i feel happy also at the same time . Grateful, at least what i'm thinking all these time is true . 

Somehow , I just realize how unimportant i am to him . Based on his clarification . Thank you for at least say it directly to me. You really treat me like i dont have feeling . 

Idk i can be that dumb . Well , he always like that though .

 It just me who think , maybe i can make he changes if he knows how genuine my feelings towards him. Sigh .

However ,  You cant change people . You cant force them to accept you too . Unrequited love story .Its end here  . Where one of them try to recover from being hurt and another on just simply living like nothing. 

No worries , i already over him since that day , when i left . Right now , it just a closure . So that i wont put any hope on him . I wont feel sorry if i meet anyone else . 

Actually 

I like my sad part 

I mean i like it when im sad , for real 

It gives me so much idea of drawing , writing . It helps me to express myself . 

I feel alive again after that 

I also realize about so many things that make me reflect 

So i wont making same mistake 

I call it as self development 

Everyone who come and go 

It just a lesson for me 

and i'm on my way to become a better human being 

Hope so . 

Thank you for reading , thank you for him also :) 

suggestion song to listen  to ( for today) ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

: kenshi yonezu - lemon 

Mungkin sudah saatnya aku berhenti  

Berhenti dari sebuah pengharapan.

Bahkan ketika ini aku sedang mencuba

Tapi untuk melupakan suatu nama juga kelihatan payah 

Padahal kamu kan sudah bahagia sama pilihan kamu 

Dan aku masih disini menyesal sendiri 

Kamu benar 

Menyesal itu tidak wajar kelamaan 

Justeru , aku pergi ya . 

Akhirnya perjuangan aku selesaj sampai disini saja. 

Aku tidak kuat   untuk menerima kenyataan 

Bahwa kisah kita itu tidak akan pernah wujud di alam nyata ini . 

Mungkin jika suatu saat , jika kamu tidak terlalu jauh untuk digapai . 

Akan aku usahakan semaksimal mungkin 

Untuk sebuah kita .

Tapi sudahlahkan.  

Ada noktah yang perlu diterima sekarang. 

Doa aku selalu untuk kamu . 

Selamat berbahagia 

Walau jalan kita tidak pernah sama . 

Lately i 've been thinking a lot . Tu la siapa suruh tidur lambat kan dah overthinking.Padan muka . Fikir tentang apa? You know ,  I think about my career , friendship , missing my deceased pet cimerlin and Jodoh . 

Yea jodoh . (Seriously) 

They said jodoh maut di tangan tuhan.Sounds cliche right ?

Seeing everyone already jumpa their own soulmate make me think " maybe i'm not ditakdirkan untuk punya own family dan keturunan sendiri " , " maybe ditakdirkan hidup sendiri sampai akhir nafas " kan .  At certain point i feel like i'll just saving money as much as i can so i wont cause trouble to anyone , then i can use it later when i'm getting old lol.  

Eh , maybe i should just use this time to make my parents , people around me and myself happy.  

Im not always thinking about jodoh . Not at all , but maybe lately i just realize that i have no one to talk to and share my bad day which hurts me a lot . 

But the worst part , when ada orang nak kenal with me , i feel tak suka pula .Terus cut. Tak terbuka hati nak kenal . Idk why i feel like heartless? Idk the right word for it . Tapi bila fikir balik maybe  i have my own reason why i feel this way.Trauma ? Trust issue ?  I do have trust issue since kena betray years ago :') . Idk la . Or maybe i still hoping for that person who i never can even approach . Funny right . Whatever it is , i hope this feeling faded away . I hope i can just spend my time freely without any worries with my hobbies . Lets hope so :)