Hello guys lol i dont know why i  always leaving this blog for a month and only comeback when its a new month . Sorry yea , i just don't have much to tell . I just living my introvert life peacefully .

Lately i have been kinda stress with work place. Actually i the one of people who rarely talk about work after work hour . Welp , that's nothing wrong with that right ? 

However lately so many people who wanna to resign including share holder so i think its a big thing . I really want to resign but i dont have a back up plan . Even if i do , i will just resign without a new job . Means that i need to wait for awhile while getting a new job . Probably months since its a small town . But i don't want to stay in a toxic environment and work under a poor management anymore .

 I kinda stuck and don't know . I wish i get a new job soon since i apply for some . Please pray for me guys . I hope i start next year with physical , mental and financial stable :) . 

 Good bye October and Hello November ( why October so fast lol ) 

01:43 ━━━━●───── 03:50

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻

Now Playing : IKON - FLOWER 

'Following the path of clouds
On the other side
Will our old selves still be there?
And I know that I can’t turn back time
Or hold onto you and bring you back'

Here i am wiriting this at 1.30 am -,-

Hi guys .How are you doing ? 

I have random question . 

Have you ever let anyone mistreated you ? 

Just because you appreciate them , afraid of the idea of losing them 

or is it because of love? Really love ? 

Actually, I do feel extremely exhausted when I keep just giving without getting any 

I shouldn't put myself that lower right ? ( i do sabotage myself again *sigh*)

sometimes I feel like I should end this toxic cycle . 

But why , i couldn't ? ( i just afraid the idea of leaving him)

That person can peacefully living their life without you 

But you just there waiting for their response 

Pathetic right ?

lol

Maybe I'm not mean to be treated like human being 

Love is just not for me right ?

Even people around me already prove it , 

I surrounded with people that struggle with their relationship or even already end it tragically 

Is it a sign that i trying to ignore ? 

Maybe i just need to accept that sincerely 

without forcing things when the whole world seems to against it 

(they said your instinct never lies )

we trying to fit on society that not even ours

Hey guys happy weekend ! 

I think i able to balance between being productive and recharging my energy for this weekend . I start a day by 30 mins brisk walk , which im proud i did it :) . I have plan about it since yesterday . I hope i can do it again for tomorrow la .

Actually kan , i thought i will overslept since i sleep at 3 am yesterday after playing games . Thank to my twin for wake me up . Its kinda late because when we went to the park the sun its already above our head even its only 8.40 am . 

After that we go for our brunch at the nearest tesco . I choose bbq nasi ayam since its my fav . The cheapest and yummy ofc . 

Have you guys ever concern about your weight ?Like mine its keep adding numbers lol . No matter how i change my diet or portion of food . Maybe because i always sleep late ? 

So right now instead of focus on diet only . I try to add some routine of exercise , drink more water and puasa sunat on monday and thursday . Semoga istiqamah . 

Any idea of losing weight? Mind sharing ? Who knows its work kan ? 

I think i will stop writing here . Thank you for reading my bored entry . Stay alive and be thankful for everything :) Seeya . 

Hi good evening  and assalamualaikum . How you guys doing ? Anything new happen lately ? 

Well for me ,  i'm doing well . I think so , you guys  know what ? 

Finally , i get a closure about something :) .  I kinda sad but i feel happy also at the same time . Grateful, at least what i'm thinking all these time is true . 

Somehow , I just realize how unimportant i am to him . Based on his clarification . Thank you for at least say it directly to me. You really treat me like i dont have feeling . 

Idk i can be that dumb . Well , he always like that though .

 It just me who think , maybe i can make he changes if he knows how genuine my feelings towards him. Sigh .

However ,  You cant change people . You cant force them to accept you too . Unrequited love story .Its end here  . Where one of them try to recover from being hurt and another on just simply living like nothing. 

No worries , i already over him since that day , when i left . Right now , it just a closure . So that i wont put any hope on him . I wont feel sorry if i meet anyone else . 

Actually 

I like my sad part 

I mean i like it when im sad , for real 

It gives me so much idea of drawing , writing . It helps me to express myself . 

I feel alive again after that 

I also realize about so many things that make me reflect 

So i wont making same mistake 

I call it as self development 

Everyone who come and go 

It just a lesson for me 

and i'm on my way to become a better human being 

Hope so . 

Thank you for reading , thank you for him also :) 

suggestion song to listen  to ( for today) ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

: kenshi yonezu - lemon