Hi 

Have you ever wonder why people took you for granted ? In family , friendship, even in any relationship. I never being the priority. I know since the beginning and immune with it . But somehow it hits me . When it's happen in same time . I was like " Is it because I'm not good enough ?" " I available that much" . 

Being genuine cost me a lot . 

I mentally and physically demanding to be heal . 

I'm trying to create a space . Hopefully I will be fine sooner . 

Helloo , so basically I have decided to jadikan this platform my diary Bergerak selain Twitter haha . Sorry if this entry sangat lah membosan kan . It just my random thought . 

I sedar yang when kita spend so much time dengan orang fav tak kira lah org tu siapa partner ke , best friend ke , kita akan develop attachment . Until if dorang slightly change the way they interact pun kita akan sedar Dan that thing membuatkan mood kita down . Kelihatan sadis bukan ? 

I think itu sangat lah betrayal kepada diri sendiri . I mean if kita value diri kita , kita kena sibukkan diri dengan hobby yang kita suka . Such small things absolutely won't affect us sooner. I know interaction dengan manusia is a must . Tapi don't overdo . Sampai jadi obsession . You need to have your own life , own hobbies yang make yourself alive . Tak kira la your introvert hobby atau extrovert hobby hahah I even separate my hobby into those two types . 

Thank God whenever I perasan this thing jadi , I slowly detach . Bukan sebab tak suka , tapi I feel it's not healthy for myself or development . Kalau benda tu buat I feel not productive so I slowly reflect balik camtu .My random thought sekarang is where to find cactus so I can own it (it's 11.11 pm btw). 

Actually kan I slowly busy kan diri . So I not into my thoughts that much . Literally I lost weight due those things and ppl around me keep asking me if something happen to me recently. The answer is yes and no . Kadang kita manusia ni banyak fikir . Sampai lupa fungsi kita seharian hidup Dan berusaha . The rest letakkan kat tuhan ja . 

Okay la malas ah nak melarat tulis panjang panjang haha . May this year end well for meee aminnn . 

 Hi 

Lol I'm writing this in working hours . The idea just pop out . So here I am ! August kinda miserable for me . September where I try and keep trying to be okay . I think I slowly embrace things . Neither good nor bad . If I wanna cry I just cry . I used to think crying like a baby is just for a weak . But nah, it's how you express yourself . Nothing bad about it . 

I kinda sad , I have few hobbies I cannot do like before . I don't play game anymore , not do art , not reading , no more watching criminal documentaries . It just because I can't focus anymore . I just doom scrolling through TikTok and cry . I feel bad about myself lol . 

Why i crying ? I just..feel not being appreciated lol . Nvm we talk about it later . But as I said September better than august . I go hiking , meet my old school mate and have fun in art gallery which is my fav things to do . So yeah I lose and gain something on September . 

Few days left , hope you guys doing well too .I will just doing mural on my bedroom's door for this weekend hehe . I think I should start to get some ideas how to decorate it . If I have a time I will just share the final product here lol . Till then tc . 

 Hi , 

I feel so down lately . 

I got family issues , stress from work place and my relationship ain't working well . Yet my friends are far from me . What a good combination , ain't it ? 

Sometimes I feel like I have no one . No one really cares if I'm here or not . Welp , what a negative statement here . Sorry for that . 

I'm a human being . I cannot pretend like I'm good and nothing affected me . It's kinda sad my relationship starting to lose spark . It's kinda tiring to fix it by myself . I bet I just need to let it go . But starting all over again at this age is so tiring . 

I hope sooner or later i'll meet someone who love me more , who accept me who am I without comparing  :) . 

 Hi I just want to let it be here 

Expressing how I feel lately 

I have no one to talk to . 

No one really listen. I blame no one . 

Everyone have their own life , things they fight for too . 

I have been trying so hard

I even pretending to be someone else 

Just to be close to you 

Yet it's not enough 

I feel violated 

What I have done .. 

This is so shameful enough , I feel like begging people to stay 

When all they wanted to leave since first day 

What a life I'm living . 

Am I not worth it to fight for ? 

I keep being left behind when it comes to being chosen. 

I'm no one's fav . People who I thought will stay already have someone else . 

It's always another girl and not me . 

I bet my life sucks . No one really appreciated me . Since I keep giving all even I got nothing in return . 

Maybe my avoidant soul deserve all this karma . 

Maybe I deserve to be alone for the rest of my life .